Double Devastation

Two and a half years ago I became very depressed and had extreme anxiety over the terrible state of my marriage. My hair was falling out so much it would clog the drain every few days. I was on anti-depressants, Ativan, and couple other meds to help me cope with severe symptoms.

My hair loss continued for quite some time, about a year, and then it came to a halt...for the most part. I noticed that although my hair was not falling out very fast, it also was NOT regrowing! So, I was not losing much hair at all, but it was not regrowing so the little bit I did lose, became a severe problem over time.

After a year and a half of this, I started using Rogaine and it caused a lot more hair to fall out. I think it is working because I have hair on my crown, but my hairline and all over the rest of my head, I have barely any hair left. I would estimate that 4/5 of my hair is gone....with no end in sight. To make it worse, I developed a condition which caused my scalp to literally burn. That burning is better, but not gone and hair is still not growing anywhere but the crown...where I use the Rogaine.

I thought it may be the Ativan I take causing the hair loss, but my doctors all say no. When I tried a couple times to switch medications, hair loss got much worse, then got back on Ativan and hair loss stopped...but no hair regrowing so I look worse than ever. I am going to go to a wig shop soon and pick out a wig because I don't know how to stop this, countless doctors in 2.5 years have not been able to stop it...or rather...restart hair growth.

All tests were done...not anaemic, not too much Vitamin A, no Lupus, no thyroid condition, no nothing. But I am going through divorce now and just realize that my stress and anxiety is still pretty bad. I eat a good diet with lots of protein, I even take Biotin and multi-vitamins...nothing is helping regrow the hair.

So, although I am losing relatively little hair now, I will be bald soon because what I am losing is not regrowing. I do the "hair pull" test and very little hair comes out...one here and there. But I do see the telltale signs of Telogen Effluvium because many hairs that come out have the root attached (even though not many fall out). I have been doubly devastated because the divorce and the pain and losses associated with that, AND the embarrassment and humiliation of slowly going bald and being totally powerless to stop it.

I am young and attractive and I feel like no one will ever love me and this will never go away. Have prayed so much about it, have been to so many doctors and specialists, just trying to accept my fate and hoping I can cope with the eventual loss of all my hair. I don't know if it will ever grow back at this point. I have noticed many of the hairs that do fall out are new hairs from my crown that the Rogaine has grown (I can see the tip of the strands goes to a point) so even THOSE are not lasting long.

If anyone has any ideas for me, I would love to hear them. But I just feel, at this point, that I need to accept baldness, the need for a wig, and being alone for the rest of my life. When it gets to the point where I need a wig, I will be much too embarrassed and humiliated to ever date again. I wish you all much better luck with chronic TE than I have.

Editor’s Comments,

I am very sorry to hear about your sad story and I do hope you can pull through it in the least painful and fastest way possible. Although I am not married, but I do have a lot of friends that faced divorce and it really did cause a lot of stress and trauma to them.

Ativan is an anti depressant that relaxes your body and reduces emotional stress and I am not sure that the medication is a major cause of your hair loss but maybe other meds that you are taking might be contributing to your loss of hair. However, I strongly believe that the main cause of hair loss lies with your current state of mind, by being overly depressed over yourself and negative. Chronic depression is a medical condition and in some cases, a long term trigger of Telogen Effluvium because nothing beats the effects of your mind.

Although I am going off topic here, I would just like to stress that I am certain that there are people that love you, just maybe the one that you love doesn’t know how to appreciate you. The best way is try to move on in life because it’s not worth it and life goes on and if you still do have that kind of negative ‘no one loves me’ thoughts then the only person that you are hurting is yourself (and your hair). Get over with it, move on and find a new love in life like a hobby, or take a break from the world. Relax and recuperate and I bet your hair will start to grow again.

For the time being, the best solution I can recommend you is to shave your head, get a wig and don’t worry about hair loss for now, or at least until you manage to get back on your feet. Since you have already lost 4/5 of your hair, growing them back if it’s possible will be a long journey and I think you shouldn’t have to worry about that now. Fix your thoughts first and then we’ll talk about hair loss. Hope that all will be better for you soon.